If you don't follow my 365

I still wanted to share today's post with you...

Today I ran around to a few thrift stores trying to find old pillows with forms inside that I could remove, wash and put a new fabric on. No luck. So then I ended up at Deal Smart with the thought, "Hey, they have pretty cheap stuff, I bet I could get a halfway decient pillow from them for cheap!" When I got in the store I headed right over to the household department. There were sheets, picture frames, rugs. And lucky me! There was a clearance section at the end of an isle loaded with pillows! I found a beautiful cream one that had a great rectangular shape to it, I thought it could be thicker, but if it's clearanced it will do. I'm thinking to myself, "This was a great idea! I bet this will do great!" Just look at this great pillow, with Joy holding it-








But then I looked at the price tag. Could this be a typo? Well, if it is, someone kept making it on all the other pillows on the clearance shelves.

Here is a picture of the pillow's price tag:







I don't think this was a typo because I found several other pillows that also had the same original price marked on them in another area of the store, but they were still at $29.99, and hadn't been marked down to the clearance price of $19.00 yet.



Guess I'm back to searching the isles of thrift stores again.

Joyannaisms

"I think I look better in slow motion."

Monday

Monday we went shopping for new church shoes and were at the mall when an email came through my phone.  I have the settings on my phone to play the Vikings rally song.  The second we entered the shoe store my phone starts playing "Skol Vikings let's win this game! Skol Vikings honor your name!" and Joy starts dancing and waving her hands around in the air singing, "Go get that first down then get a touch down! Rock em! Sock em! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"  Much to the amusement of the employees and other customers.  I love that kid.

Almost made the decision

Thanks to the help of my dad and my friend Michelle I've pretty nearly come to the conclusion of what I am going to do as far as school.  It's not been an easy decision because of a number of reasons.  I'm going to channel my inner Rory Gilmore here and do my pro/con lists.

Pros for going back to college:
Because of Joel's being laid off last year and smaller income this year and government programs I'll be able to qualify for a lot of free money for college.


K-8 Education Licensure
K-8 Education pro list:
*only 3 years to get the degree
*will qualify me to work in schools, summers off, possibly in my own children's school
*98% can be done online
*degree is from a great college- Bemidji State

K-8 Education con list:
*pay would be limited
*limited hands on instruction
*limited interaction with other students
*not a bachelor's degree
*would be limited to being K-8, elementary education teacher


Special Education Bachelor's
*Special Education pro list:
*more hands on instruction
*more interaction with other students
*degree is from a great college- St. Cloud State
*variety of places other than schools that this degree can qualify me to work at including individual and social assistance agencies or residential facilities, or in homebound or hospital environments.
*Pay median is considerably much more than the other degree
*high in demand and future demand looks like there will be an increase which means greater chance for being hired


Special Education con list:
*Have to drive to school a few nights a week
*4 years to obtain degree, which also cuts into Jake's mission (was hoping to be working by then to help pay for his mission)
*Not many classes can be done online
*cost is more
*Because of Joy being in afternoon Kindergarten next year, my irst year's classes will have to be in the afternoon, which means Jake will have to watch kids for me during his Senior year.  Hopefully the kids will not bother him and let him study. He has decided not to wrestle next year so this will be helpful as well.


I've still yet to go over any of this with Joel.  He's been so busy with his new job and still working the other job.  I'm hoping I'll be able to have his attention sometime this weekend. So far I've only gotten out of him, "do whatever".

Jacob was surprisingly very supportive and enthusiastic about what I told him.  I went over this list with him last night and he was overwhelmingly in support of the Special Education Degree, and my heart is so full of love for him at that. My dad was also excited about the information I'd sent him.  I hope I get as enthusiastic of a response from Joel.

What to do?

I am sitting on the horns of a delema.
Often through the last few years I've thought I should be going to school, but could never figure out "what for?".  Ever since our church friend passed away last month it has been heavy on my mind.  He was only a year older than Joel.  What if Joel died next year?  What would happen to me? to our kids? Would I be able to afford to live on his Social Security?  What happens to me when the kids are grown and I'm cut off from Social Security?  What will I do then?  What if Joel is injured and becomes unable to care for us or himself and the social security gets eaten up by the care he will require?
I'm finding that I am feeling a strong urge to go back to school and get myself an education that will help me provide for myself and my family. 
My children are getting older, I will need to go back to work at some point, what will I do? I have no real marketable skills besides my photography and sewing. I need to be able to work while my kids are at school, and photography happens during hours families aren't working, which means also hours my kids are home, that has been a hard thing for me to reconcile with. But I'm not ruling it out. Everything I know about photography I have learned on my own.  I'd like to get more education on it and have talked about taking classes.  I don't know if I want to learn commercial photography.  I'm also a little worried with how affordable SLRs are now and the trends in portrait photography that, at least what I've been doing, is not going to be a lucrative enough business for me.
I have been praying and looking online at local colleges and the programs and degrees they offer.  I have found  a couple of programs that interest me, but I am not sure if they would be right for me.
I've been looking at trends and recently popular fields, and it seems that "green jobs" are the wave of the future. Although I'm all for recycling and not being wasteful, I'm by no means a tree hugger or a believer in global warming nor do I wish to support anything that will empower our government anymore in thinking that they should try to regulate American's any more than they already do.
One job that I am sure will never go away is the job of teacher. There will always be a need for teachers.  Maybe I could teach photography in high school, hahaha. 
What do you think I would enjoy/be good at?

For those who don't visit

my 365 blog, I thought I'd share this over here too.  This is a cute purse I just finished making Jaeden today.  She picked out the fabrics for it.  The lady at the store said they were both new. I figured the one was because it's a Valentine's Day print.  She was so happy when she saw it upon arriving home from school today.  I had it hanging from the door knobs on my computer's armoire right by the front door.  She asked if it was done, looked inside to make sure I'd put in the magnetic snaps and then gave it a huge hug! That made me so happy, and then she gave me a hug and thanked me, which made me feel even happier.  She's been wearing it on her head for a lot of the evening, lol!  I finally told her to put some stuff in it and so now she wears it on her shoulder. 
For those wanting the pattern, I found it over at My Spare Time.

So Tough

This is what my kid comes back looking like after a day with the scouts. They were playing football. Tackle football. I named this image "bestkid1" because he is the bestest kid I could have asked for. Just look at his shirt. He's not ashamed to wear it. It says, "Born of goodly parents". I miss him so much when he goes to scout camp, I can't imagine how much I'll miss him when he goes off to live at college or serve a two year mission for our church. He's got a nearly six foot 245 pound tough exterior, but he's mush inside :)

Joyannaisms:

I love you more than Christmas!

Me Thinks

I need new decorating for this place, but can't decide what to do.
My calendar is suddenly so full, and not one client on the books for the month.  How did my life get so complicated???
Josh so far is doing great at wrestling, he hasn't gotten hurt yet, thankfully.  He also seems to have a natural ability.  I watched him last night and any time a kid got him down, he would immediately try to be the one on top.  Good job!
Maybe he'll be ok.

:)

I haven't forgotten about this blog.  I've just been busy.  Also my diary is getting all the good stories lately :)

I'm finally on vacation and have been doing things I've been wanting to do for a awhile.  Not all of them, because well, -0 temps keep me from doing many of them... like sledding with the kids.  Booo.  However, I've been able to organize my computer a bit, started a few blogs that I was meaning to start, tomorrow I'll need to try to get back a book I had to return to the library before I was done with it.

Joshua starts wrestling this week. I am sick, nervous about that.
In November I went to one of Jacob's tournaments.  There were some 8th graders wrestling on the mat in front of me.  I was on the first row.  They were just little boys.  One of the boys got hurt so badly.  It was horrible to watch him sitting on the mat in pain, holding his bent arm, all of these adults around him not knowing what to do for him and him crying from all the pain.  I cried too.  Then grandma came down out of the stands and called his mom and they took him out of the gym.  My heart then was filled with so much fear for my little Joshua who wants so badly to be a wrestler too, just like his big brother Jake.  I asked the coach sitting next to me how often that happens, "More than you think it would", was his response.  My heart sank all the way down into my stomach.
For weeks the check for Josh's wrestling sat in my purse.  Waiting to be mailed.  I couldn't let go of it.  Every time I saw it in my purse and thought of mailing it the vision of that hurt little boy came back hauting me.  I finally let it go in the mailbox.  Tuesday he starts.  I think he needs a Preisthood blessing.

New Blog

I did it! I opened up a blog dedicated to Thursday's Thumbs!  Check it out http://thursdaysthumbs.blog.com/ 
I just wish I could find that picture I used back in the day when I first started doing TT. 
Join me over there each Thursday as I rate products and items we've tried through that week!  Also feel free to drop me any suggestions.
Want to try something but are too chicken?  Tell me about it and I just might try it for you!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Gina!

I'm so excited about you turning 40 before me!

Don't light the house on fire!!

Make a wish! Oh heck, make 40 of them!

Grrrrrr

11:12 am
I have the grumblies.
I'm frustrated with spending my time doing stuff I don't want to do, so now I have the grumblies. I should be thankful instead I have the stuff I have to do, but right now my mind is in the wrong place. I was so busy getting Christmas put together, I didn't have time to play.
I want to be outside playing with my kids instead of meeting deadlines, when I called "vacation!". Can't help when babies are born, and I am glad for the images I got and the money I made and the family I met and hope I see again. So I should be thankful right?
I'm just grumbly.
One thing that got me excited today was the thought of reviving my Thursday's Thumbs. Thinking about it....

2:20pm
Now, I've almost single handedly gone through a bowl of M&M's as I've worked here today. I have laundry sitting in the dryer because I haven't folded the last load that came out. I'm contemplating tossing it all on the couch and sorting it out later when dh is at the job interview.
Oh yeah, have I mentioned he has an interview today for a temporary, part time job with an tax prep place? He does. Sometime around 4 I think. He has to be up at 3. Wish him luck.

We had a pretty good Christmas! The kids got a lot of fun things. We spent the evening at Joel’s sister Sarah’s house. The kids had fun sledding down the hill with their aunt, uncle and cousins. I had fun hanging out and talking to family.

I got something I’ve been wanting for several years. A big beautiful warm electric blanket. Every night for the last couple of years I have put on socks and warmed my side of the bed with a hot pad while I brushed my teeth before going to bed. My next big item on my wish list is a towel warmer. I found one at Bed Bath & Beyond but it seemed too small for our new big fluffy towels I got on Black Friday or I would have bought it right then and there. I wish it had been bigger. I bet it feels so nice to step into warm towels in the middle of winter!

I also was lucky and got to talk to several family members in the last few days for the holidays as well. I don’t have any family here in Minnesota, and sometimes I really miss them, especially on the holidays. I wish we could travel there in the winter, but my mom always insists that we won’t miss anything good and also I’m chicken to travel in the snow, especially in the mountains. I suggested to Joel that maybe next year we could go spend the holidays in a cabin somewhere in MN. There’s one that we found that had indoor plumbing and it would be really fun to spend a week there… I bet it would cost a fortune though.

Spoiler Ahead!

For Christmas I got the movie Julie and Julia. If you haven’t seen it yet, read no further. If you have, read on! I loved it! Mostly. I didn’t like that in the movie they said that Julia didn’t like Julie or her blog. So terrible! I appreciated the part at the end where Julie didn’t hold that against Julia and it didn’t keep her from finishing her project. I also loved the butter tribute she left with the painting of Julia. I did love learning more about Julia and watching Meryl Streep portraying her was fascinating. I loved the relationship between Julia and Paul. I also loved all the French words. French is such a beautiful language. I took a few years in High School, but I barely remember anything. I love listening to people speak it. I looked up her blog and read the last few entries and then later while looking up pictures of her I ran into Julia Powell’s current blog where she tells about reading at bars and such. I’ll have to look into it more. I wonder if she has any children yet, or if this whole thing has taken over her life.

-End Spoiler-

Jaeden lost a tooth last night while she was sleeping. I hate the tooth fairy. She’s just another reason why I feel like a big fat liar. Her and Santa are in cahoots with each other and they have it out for me. Forget my kids, I’m the one that’s going to need hours on the therapy couch when my kids are all grown! Joel insists that we participate in the deceitful tradition, but I have moral issues with it and my conscience bothers me so much, especially when the kids ask me questions and I have to come up with a spur of the moment lie.

_Can't L_ve W_thout "_"

_ love _. _ can do so many th_ngs w_th _. L_ke go on vacat_on, or go eat _ce cream. _ makes l_fe complete. Today wh_le _ was at Wal Mart, wh_ch surpr_s_ngly doesn't need an _ to spell, _ was text_ng Jacob w_th my new Blackberry, wh_ch also doesn't need an _ and all of a sudden my _ went out! _ texted to him "My eye went out!" _ thought maybe _t was a gl_tch _n my phone and turned the phone off and then back on aga_n, but the phone was dead. NOOOO!!!! _ have fallen _n love w_th my l_ttle record keeper, not_f_er, messenger, calculator, ema_l sender. How can _ l_ve w_thout _t!? Joel took the battery out and put t back _n aga_n. Slowly the phone came back on, but stll no _. Th_s _s not the worst of _t because Joel called the company we bought the phones from (we got 3 w_th our plan) and they probably forwarded the call to _nd_a because the serv_ce rep. d_d not speak very good engl_sh, wh_ch does need an _ to spell. Now they want us to send the phone back before they w_ll send us a new one. That seems k_nd of a r_poff to me. The last phone _ had the company sent me a new one and _ sent them m_ne back _n a bag that came _n the new one's box. That _s the last t_me we buy someth_ng not from a br_ck and mortar store! _ am so bummed about th_s because _'ve been watch_ng and wa_t_ng for a deal that our fam_ly could afford and now that we got _t, _t sucks rocks (_ know M_chelle, _t should only l_ck rocks, lol). So now we w_ll be w_thout our 6513 number for who knows how long. _f you are one of the people who th_nks you should have another cell # to get a hold of us let me know and _'ll get to you w_th a number.



Ok, I can't carry on typing without an I anymore.

This was really frustrating for me tonight because I realized how late it is in the month and how much I don't have done and need to get done in the next few days and also our family is going away tomorrow night and had plans for the day to spend at Macy's and also Jaeden has a talk to give in Primary and I have two sharing times to put together... AAaaargh!!! Also I had no stocking stuffers and also I have to get 4 more presents and I have to make at least 4 more batches of caramel... and... and....the list goes on and on... I feel a vein throbbing in my forehead.

Today was a huge reminder for me how precious life is and how much I take for granted. I don't want to take things for granted, I really don't. I want everyone in my life to know how much they mean to me and how much they enrich my life or my family's life. I'm so thankful for our ward members and for our families and how blessed my life is having them in it! Richard was only a year older than Joel. This surprised me. I didn't realize that until today at the funeral when I was reading the program. As I watched the Brooks family follow Richard's casket out of the chapel I thought about how young Debbie looked. Far too young to be following her husband's casket. I said a prayer right then, please let me be old with a cane before I have to follow any one's casket out the doors of our chapel. In the parking lot I had to let Joel know that I love him. I don't say that often enough and more so lately, because our relationship has been strained more so lately. But I do love him and I want him to know that. My life would have a very big hole in it were he to be gone from it.

The other day I turned 38. I don't feel 38.... I feel late 20's. I was soooo sick that day. I spent the day on the couch pretty much. My VT JoAnne was so sweet! She brought me home made chicken soup with home made noodles and home made bread. It smelled so good and was so hard to wait until the next day to be able to eat it! I've had a lot of people say to me, "If I lived closer I would.... " But she actually did! That gave me so much relief because I didn't know if I was going to be able to stand to make dinner or work with food, the way I felt. The family gave me a heavenly chocolate cake with chocolate frosting on it. I had to wait until the next day to even dare trying it. All day long Joy made me cards and wrote me love letters. She's so sweet. I just love that little girl! For my presents that night the first one I opened was a new smoke detector. We have a stupid one by the kitchen that is the wrong kind and goes off every time something burns even just a little. And once that goes off all of the ones in the house go off because they are all wired together. Poor Joel has been woken up once a week lately because of it. I think that was more of a present for him, hahaha. Then they brought out my real present which is a cute little black Dell Inspirion Netbook. It's so cute! :) And get this, it fits into my purses I made!

I love it! Thanks!

I'll just be glad to have this whole week over and done with. Which reminds me, I have a talk to write for Jaeden so I better stop writing here. Bye!

While I'm on vacation

I decided to take a vacation from photography during the winter. Pretty much the only people who want outdoor portraits in the winter are engaged couples.
Tonight at Jake's wrestling meeting for parents they were asking for another photographer to help out this year. They had another mom helping and wanted a second. I don't know what she's shooting with, and I would feel bad if the boys ended up with not so many pictures, or blurry point and shoot kinds. I've already decided to take off from portraits for the winter and thought, "why not?". So I volunteered myself for the other position. Who knows, it could be fun.
They didn't have very many of Jacob last year and that bummed me out, so at least I know I'll get some of my kid this time.
I need to be at all the tournaments and they want a couple of each kid, I think whether or not they are wrestling that day.