Sunday, May 31, 2009

So how I feel...

My friend posted this on her facebook today...

“They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

It Matters to Me

On Sunday while I was setting up the primary room I had the speakers on so I could listen to the Bishopric's announcements. I heard a familiar name in reference to a funeral that will be at the church on Wednesday morning.
And so it begins....
My reflections about my life. What would be written in my obituary? What would my friends and loved ones whisper about me to each other? What would my family find in my drawers or journal that I wouldn't want them reading? What will be the lasting memories each person has of me?
I know that I've come a long, long, long, long way from where I used to be. I used to be a rebel, rule breaker, flighty, shallow, angry, selfish, in my own world.
I hope that the changes I've made make it up to those I've hurt. I hope that I will never be remembered for those things.
When Brenda in our ward died, I went to her funeral. She'd had a battle with brain cancer. At the end of her treatment she'd accepted Christ into her life and was baptized. I was so in awe at what a beautiful person she was inside. She was beautiful on the outside as well, but at her funeral, the things that were said about her showed her inner beauty in everything everyone said. It was inspiring. I wanted to be just like her. Loving and accepting of people all around her. They knew of her love for them, she never hid it. That's something I've always struggled with (except for my kids) is showing people how much I love and appreciate them and am thankful they are in my life, and thankful for the acceptance they give me.
When Ed in our ward died, another cancer victim, I went to his funeral. I also left wanting to be like him. He was never afraid to be friendly to anyone, especially the young men in our church, he was involved in the scouting, taking the boys hiking, canoeing. He was a father figure to so many of them. His love was genuine and gentle. They never doubted his love for them. His sons were the envy of many a boy. His love for the Savior was even stronger and he was not afraid to share that with others. Missionary in word and deed. I wanted to be like him too when I left. Loving the youth, loving the Savior, not being afraid to share it.
My friend Julie died last June. I also went to her funeral. What a tribute to a beautiful woman. She was virtuous, lovely, praiseworthy. She struggled to know her Savior. She sought Him out and a young age and "never let go". I quote that from the lyrics of a song written as a tribute to her, at the time of her death. She was selfless, sharing, giving, loving, kind, gentle.... many of the qualities that our Savior has were reflected in her countenance. I left wanting to be like her. She died trying to save the life of another. Her song still brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it.
click here to see a video our friend made with our images of her.

I'm thankful for people who have left examples to follow. I hope that I learn from them and improve my life and those around me by trying to follow their examples. I hope that someday what is said at my funeral, or on my gravestone will reflect that.

Y o u D i d n ’ t L e t G o -by Joel Hanson (Julie's Song)

You were born in the city but that was not home
You were made for the country and dusty dirt roads
You longed for the places where wild flowers grow

Even when you were little you knew there was more
To life than just living, it was there in your core
You heard about Jesus and knew he was yours

You took His hand and you didn’t let go
You let Him take you down the hardest roads
Though it wasn’t easy you never said “no”
You took His hand and you didn’t let go

When you went off to college you were the one
Who went to the parties but stuck to your guns
And walked your friends home after they’d had too much

You were pretty and blue-eyed but all the boys knew
There were lines in the sand they could not cross with you
And it made some nights lonely but you made it through

You took His hand and you didn’t let go
You let Him take you down the hardest roads
Though it wasn’t easy you never said “no”
You took His hand and you didn’t let go

Some called you stubborn, feisty and hard
But you were driven to live out what was there in your heart
And sometimes your decisions meant you had to stand alone
But when it came to loving it was there in your bones

So that day in the river when that young girl slipped
You reached out and grabbed her and held to her wrist
And as you lost to the current you never loosened your grip

You took her hand and you didn’t let go
You let her take you down the hardest road
Though it was not easy you never said “no”
You took her hand and you didn’t let go
You took her hand and you didn’t let go

Monday, May 25, 2009


I started the morning today having Jake drive me down to Burnsville to pick up a bird cage that was advertised on craigs list. It is soooo nice and such a steal! It's a good sized one and it came with a stand so it sits high and doesn't take up any table space. They even gave me a bag with a ton of bird toys in it. Everything we need to get started. Food and water holders, toys, mirrors, ropes, swings, perches, etc. and it was only 20 bucks.

On the way back from picking up the cage we were going along highway 35 and saw an officer pulled someone over up ahead, and another officer getting onto the freeway where we were at. Jake slowed down and let that officer in front of us but never pulled over to the other lane, he only slowed down so the second officer pulled over, then out behind us and pulled Jake over for not moving over one lane. I thought Jake might have been very nervous but he did ok. Luckily, I think because Jake only has his permit and is still learning, and because I have an impeccable driving record, we were only let off with a warning. However, he did let us know that the fine is $178 for not pulling over. Ouch!

Then I had to take Joy to her eye doctor appointment. I am so thankful for programs out there like the one that helped us. It's called Gift of Sight. We don't have insurance and because of Joel being laid off we don't have money for eye doctors. So when Joy had trouble at her Kindergarten screening they gave us a referral to Lens Crafters who participate in the program. Joy was diagnosed with hyperopia in her left eye. In her case it's pretty severe, where she can't see things either near or far. So he gave her a glasses prescription, where the lens for the left eye is not as strong as she needs, so that the eye has to work, and then she has to wear an eye patch over her right eye every day for an hour, along with the glasses. She was very excited about the glasses, and I let her pick out what pair she wanted. I wished they had red or pink ones that she would have found adorable, but she did find a pair of darker ones that she loved. We go back in the morning to pick them up. They would have been ready today, but we went up north to Meadowlands to visit Joel's grandmother's grave.
So after the appointment we went about 2 and a half hours north to visit the graveyard that many of Joel's family is buried in.
We stopped for dinner on the way home and now the kids are all stir crazy from sitting in the van all day. We did bring along their tv units that play movies and also come with 30 games for the kids to play, so they weren't completely bored, they just had to play round-robbin with the tv's because we only have two. But Josh and Jaeden keep breaking out into fights. It's about time to put them to bed, thank goodness!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sunday Thoughts

I love long weekends! Of course the kids are off of school on Monday for Memorial Day. We hadn't made any fun plans because of the lack of funds this week. I'm trying to make a really large payment on a credit card, so we are digging into our food storage heavily.
On Friday Joel and I attended the temple and it reminded me that we have not finished his family's work for the people that we had baptized a few years ago. So I brought it up to him that now would be a good time to work on that while he is not working. So, now tomorrow we have plans to go up north to where his grandparents are buried so that we can get his grandmother's parents name, so that we can have his grandparent's endowments and sealing done.
Also this week I started teaching a lady who contacted me wanting to learn everything about my business. She is moving to a far away state at the end of June and was thinking of having her own photography business, so that she can be home for her children when they need her, but also so that she has something to do and help with family finances. This last week was covering how to use her SLR. I have 6 more lessons set up. She's paying me by the hour. It won't be a lot of money coming in, but every bit helps and I've found that I really love teaching people what I know about photography.
I also got a chance to second for another photographer friend next week for a wedding he's shooting. I'll get paid for that also.
I just wanted to mention how much Heavenly Father is blessing us at this time. I've loved having the extra work and also it's been really nice having Joel at home, I'm starting to enjoy it.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I just love to watch old Sesame Street clips. This was one of my favorite songs, and I can still be found singing it sometimes. I wish more people knew it, because I also will quote it when something shady is going on,.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Heard this song today for the first time

and it made me start crying. Really hit home with me.

I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor said I was lucky to be alive

I’ve been trouble since the day that I got here
Trouble till the day that I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right


There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school
I talked too much, broke the rules
Teacher thought I was hopeless fool alright

I don’t know how but I made it through
It’s one of those things that you’ve gotta do
But I always had a knack for telling the truth


Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something

So now’s my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it’s one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight


Thursday, May 14, 2009


I LOVED the look of this shoe I found at Famous Footwear so I checked them out at my local store.

Sadly they weren't cushy enough for me but as I looked around I found these shoes. And even though they are a biking shoe, I don't think they don't look it at all and oh my gosh my feet are in HEAVEN! So soft and cushy, I just Love, love, love them. I want to wear them to the gym on the treadmill even, lol! I got them in black and I think they are going to be awesome to wear this Saturday to the wedding I'm shooting.I love that the tread on them are grippy for hiking around, but the style makes them look a little dressier than casual shoe. The strap keeps them on my feet when I crouch down for shooting and they bend really nicely. I now have the shoes of my dreams.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Biggest Loser

This season is the first time I've ever watched this show, and I actually walked in at the middle of it.

I am a little disappointed in the winner, I was really hoping that Mike would win it, and then not share with his meany dad.

The winner was Helen, and in my opinion she's a really annoying whiny drama queen. Her nose was always red, her eyes always filled with tears, her voice always filled with doubt and fear. It was annoying. Suck it up lady. Rub some dirt in it!

Although I didn't get to watch the whole season and see everything that happened, I did watch enough to become attached to Mike and Tara. I loved Tara's competitiveness. She wasn't afraid to take on a challenge and beat down men who were her biggest competitors. Mike has something about him that reminds him of my oldest son. He's got a great head on his shoulders, he's selfless, he's humble, he works hard and doesn't give up. I guess I shouldn't call him a kid, as he's 18 now, but I think he's someone any parent would be proud of. I'm happy for him that he looks amazing and is coming out of his shell and I hope he's having the time of his life!

Sunday, May 10, 2009


Well, so far we haven't heard a thing from the job placement place, I guess the company needing an employee didn't call back or something. He hasn't had any other calls, so far as I know but he hasn't been great at communicating with me lately.

Also Joel's old boss called and said he might have work for Joel and would call back, but never did. Joel threw out all of his machining shirts just before Ron called. I was hoping it would be a liberating experience for him, but I guess his attachment goes deeper than I thought.

While Gina was visiting and we were at my husband's graduation ceremony my brother called to tell me that my dad had had a heart attack within a couple of hours of his phone call. Thankfully Dad got to the hospital in time to save his life and to avoid open heart surgery. They were able to put stints in his heart without cutting him open. What a miracle and blessing. He's doing really well at this time, exercising and totally not sponging it up like I would have.

I had a really great visit with Gina. I wish she could have taken me out east with her when she left! She took my new avitar picture, I love it! Miss you girl.