Sunday, June 6, 2010

Got Fabric?

Right now I am supposed to be going through my coupons and setting up my shopping list for tomorrow, but I keep having something on my mind and decided to share it with y'all because I think that anyone who reads this blog has to have a fabulous mind and can appreciate the absurdity of the story I am about to share with you.

Yesterday my husband and I went out in the morning to run a few errands. We stopped at the church's garage sale the young women are having to raise money for girl's camp and scored Jaeden a new bike, yay! Then I took Joel over to Best Buy to pick up his birthday present, a new laptop to replace his that died a couple months ago. It was a little before 9am and they let us in the store anyway. We were in and out in 15 minutes. Then I drove across the parking lot to Jo-Ann fabric store to purchase some material to make my swim suit more modest. There was maybe one other customer in the store when I got there. I wasted no time in finding the fabric and color I wanted and was at the cutting table in two minutes.
Hmmm... no employees were around. I saw a ticket dispenser, but reasoned they had just opened and I was probably their first customer of the day so I didn't need to take a ticket and waste a piece of precious tree. I scooted to the end of the table and then I could see an employee stocking a shelf with items. I walked over to her and asked her politely if I could get some help at the cutting table. She was not happy with my request, and I could tell by her voice and face that I was bothering her. "Go over there and take a ticket and I'll be over in a bit to help you."
Okay, thanks.
So I go over to the table and notice the sign next to the ticket dispenser says something to the effect that I should take a ticket and continue my shopping and someone will call my number when they are ready to help me. Serious?
So I take ticket number 26 and stand around for a whole minute before "Pam" (yes, I read her name tag solely for the purpose of blogging about her and I find no shame in not changing her name) comes over to the table. Standing not more than three feet from me, she picks up a phone and announces over the speakers in the store that she is "now serving number 26 at the cutting table."
It took everything I have to not bust out laughing. I really should have walked out of the store at this time.
After composing myself I blurt out, "I am SO blogging about this."
She looks at me as if I am the one gone mad and sputtering out incoherent words.
Then I see she has caught onto my assessment of the situation and begins to explain to me in a very bored tone that this is the new way they are going to be doing things and she is just trying to follow protocol and get customers used to the new way.
I said, "I'm the only one in here".
She said, "We've had lots of people in here today."
I must have missed the 9am - 9:10am rush.
I asked, "in the last 15 minutes?" She informs me that I will be thankful for this when it comes Christmas season and the lines for cutting get long.
Uh, okay. Note to self: Buy Christmas fabrics at Hancock Fabrics.
She asked me about my project and we begin discussing how hard it is to find a swim suit that covers all the things we want covered. And the conversation is pleasant after that. She cuts my 12" and I'm on my way over to the registers.
The cashier is also stocking shelves but notices me on the way over. For explaining purposes I have created a diagram of what I can remember of the register area of the store. She is in green and her path is in green, I am the red "Me:)"
The cashier greets me and asks if I am ready to check out, "yep" I tell her. She then asks me to go around the shelving (diagrammed with red arrows) to the back cash registers as she cuts through them to get to her register to beat me there and greet me again.
Are you kidding me???
In my head I'm thinking, "What, is this to prepare me for the Christmas shopping season when I'll have to stand in long lines???"
As she checks me out the cashier asks me if I am on their mailing list, I assure her I am but also in my head I am thinking "I know what I'm lining my bird cage with this week."

I'm off to find some coupons I can really use!


Erin said...

Sooooooooo funny, Jen! Thanks for the's awesome!

Lisa said...

I am laughing and watching this all play out in my head. I seriously think retail workers do these things to make them feel like they have some amount of control.