That was the theme of tonight's required parent's meeting at Joyanna's school ready program. And through the whole thing I'm thinking... "I'm paying for this?"
We started the evening out by standing in a long line, having lotion put on our hands, stepping into a dark tent with a black light, being lectured on the importance of washing our hands, then washing our hands and returning to the dark tent to see that even though we had used lots of soap and sang the Birthday Song, we in fact had failed miserably at washing off the imaginary germs because our hands STILL glowed in the dark!
Then we got treated to pizza. But not before Joy decided she'd better do a better job at washing her hands. I guess the "germs" still showing freaked her out a little.
Then while Joy and the other short people got to go play, we parents got lectured on how not to worry, our child, if they are 5 years old by September 1 will in fact be ready for school, even if they don't know all their abc's and the sounds they make. Duh.
Then we got lectured on what the flu is, how to tell if our child has the flu, how to know when to go to the doctor and how long to keep them home (7 DAYS!) and even on how to take a temperature with a digital thermometer not only under the tongue but also under the arm (seriously, if you don't know this, you should not be having kids). This isn't your momma's flu where you got to go back to school 24 hours after having a fever, or sometimes in my case while you still had the fever. Ohhhhh no! This is major strong flu and our children are able to spread the flu germ longer than older people (that's their super power), even after they don't have a fever so we have to keep them home 7 DAYS!
Then I was allowed to go pick up my child and go home and think about those bad flu germs and how I have spread them around for the last 37 years of my life and of all the great super powers my kids could have had, they got the incredible germ spreading power. Great.