Monday, June 30, 2008

Today I went to Julie's funeral.
It was a much more uplifting experience than I was expecting.
I knew she was good, and it would be good, but this funeral left me with the desire to do more, to be more, to do better, to be better.
There are a lot of changes I've known I've need to make in my life, and today I got the desire and the inspiration and the burst of energy to begin.
I also just want to thank the people in my life, no matter how little we've touched shoulders, for being there, in my life, even if it was in a small way.
I feel inadequately equipped with the words I want to say to express how I am feeling.
I am thankful for my customers for having faith in my that I can capture them in a way that will be pleasing to them. I am thankful to the ones who've been brave and let me experiment and play, and been willing to try new things.
I'm thankful to the other photographers in my area that have allowed me to be part of their group. I'm thankful for their friendships and for their willingness to share or to let me share when I feel there is something I can contribute.
I'm thankful for those that have stopped by my blog and left comments, or emailed me comments.
I'm thankful for friends and family who keep tabs on me, who care when I'm going through something and send me notes that they are thinking of me. They have no idea how much that means.
I'm sorry that I am distant, and difficult to get to know at times. I'm going to work on that. That's one of the changes I talked about earlier. It doesn't stem from my lack of interest in you, but rather a lack of self worth, and feeling like I'd be of value to any of you. I know I have to get over that, work past it, push through it.... I'm going to.


Ginabear said...

Its funny how funerals cause us to think deeply about ourselves and our own mortality and the kind of people we are. We all have things to work on, we arent perfect but what sets us apart is the ability to see our weaknesses and do our best to push through and be the best we know how to be. I know you are trying Jen. Yes, you do need to get over that lack of self worth you so often feel. I am very blessed to have you as my friend, I learn so much about myself from you. You have a lot to offer those you let in to your life. I, along with so many others would be less having not known you! Love ya babe!!

Anonymous said...

Each day aa gift. Thank God for that whiff of courage that inspires us for each new day. A miracle in itself.

Funerals help us realize that each day counts.

Lately I keep telling myself, Do all the good you can, for as many as you can, for as long as you can.

I don't know who said it, but it keeps me going.

Luv ya,