I guess that's why they call it the blues...

So, through the neighborhood grapevine I have heard that the fire at the house behind us (which on the backside looks like it was started on the ground outside) was not an act of arson, but a meth lab gone bad.
I thank heaven above that the house didn't blow up instead because our kids bedrooms are only yards away from where the fire was.
However, it has me feeling huge amounts of sadness for the two little children that lived there. Teja and Logan were my kids friends. Teja was in Josh's 1st grade class and Logan started Kindergarten in Jaeden's class but then got moved downstairs to another teacher's class when a fourth teacher was hired. These two kids were at our house all the time, and if the doorbell rang, it was usually them. Teja with her red hair and freckled face and large toothy grin would usually be the one to ask if Josh could come out and play.
Just last week she was talking to me telling me, "I haven't quite decided if I'm going to invite your family for my birthday". I asked her what day it was. It was supposed to be this coming weekend (and I'd told her we would be camping). I guess that party is on hold.
So is the end of Kindergarten and first grade. They will be missing the last two days of school. Gathering their things. Saying goodbye to friends they made this year and to the teachers that taught them.
I don't know where they've been taken to. I only know that after the fire a drug raid was done on the home and the children were removed and have been gone since.
Out on my drive this morning I was thinking that I don't think they'll ever be back. Insurance won't cover that damage, even if they had it. The doors are all smokey, windows busted out on the other side. Fire tape has been wound around the home. I think the home will have to be destroyed unless they have money to fix it, and that money probably came from selling meth. I think we'll probably see a backhoe there someday soon.
I feel sad for the children's innocence lost. Theirs and mine. My children have been told what happened. They don't understand what it means to be "cooking drugs", but they know that drugs are bad, and now they know that drugs can burn up homes and make kids be taken away from their parents. And they know that sometimes other little kids parents don't make the best choices or protect their kids from that kind of thing.
My heart is just so full of sadness, for those kids, for my kids, for the whole earth and all the crap that goes on in it.

Change of Plans

Today I wanted to blog about these commercials for your gold, but then when I was about to start typing I heard my husband's computer playing a video and a little old lady's voice. I asked him what he was watching and he send me this link click here.
Oh my gosh, is she not the cutest little lady you ever did see?
These videos are treasures!
We've just started using some things from our food storage. I've bought a lot of the church's standard food storage stuff, but we haven't had much use for it before, and I haven't been very good about rotating it.
I went to a friend's house yesterday and had two cans of wheat ground up. This morning I made wheat pancakes:
2 C. Whole wheat flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
2 C. milk
2 T. vegetable oil

Let it sit for a few minutes before you make pancakes. I dropped them 2T. at a time, to make small pancakes.
Most of my kids loved them! (The syrup could have helped with that.) I was really surprised and thought they'd give me a fight. Thank heaven's for small blessings :)
Anyway, so food storage, and also the Great Depression have been on our minds a lot lately, of course especially in light of the current economy problems and watching the Dow drop every day is not very encouraging.
So Clara's videos are really interesting to me, and I can't help but want to hug her and her grandson for making these videos, to not only share beautiful Clara with us, but also to share her memories and the knowledge she has from those times. She has some endearing and funny stories to share. I hope you enjoy her as much as I do.

Jaedenisms

Birth- the girls were watching something the other day that sparked a question from Jaeden.
Jaeden: Mom, where do babies come from?
Mom: They grow in your tummy.
Jaeden: Yeah, but how do they get out?
Mom: *knowing Jaeden's had a talk about her privates before explains where the baby comes out*
Jaeden: *strange look on her face*
Mom: Yeah, it hurts, but it doesn't last long.
Jaeden: *big sigh* When I have kids, I hope they are.... (big pause here, because she's thinking of the word...I'm thinking she is going to say something like "small").... adopted.

Awwww! I'm so glad that she has such a positive feeling about adoption.


Motherhood- So today she and Joy were talking and Jaeden said, "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up". And I told her, "Be a mommy". She said, "Besides that." I said, "You don't have to work, if you have kids after college, you should stay home with them and be a mommy. Don't send them to daycare." To which she responded, "Oh, no, my oldest kid can just watch them!"

Now before all of you get in a hissy fit and hit the respond button (which I am removing for this post by the way) It is my right, if I want, to encourage my children to view motherhood in a positive way. Not that they have to give up something to be a mom, but that it is a privilege and a blessing and honor to be able to be a mother. Not every woman can take it. Not every woman can do it, even if they wanted to, because of circumstances. But I want her going into adulthood with a PMA, and I see no sense in building my girls up to be prepared for failure or unexpected things. They can handle those when/if they come just like the rest of us do.
My stomach turns whenever I hear a mom complaining about having to spend time with her kids, or saying she has to work to keep her sanity, or how she doesn't feel fulfilled if she doesn't have a career. I get to listen to my MIL say all the time how she didn't want to be home with her kids. I find that, personally, very sad. And I cringe that she says that right in front of her kids. What kid wants to hear their mom say how she didn't like being with them and it would drive her nuts if she had to, no matter how old they are?

Happy Birthday Jaeden!

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously
My own.
Never forget
For a single minute:
You didn't grow under my heart
But in it.
© Fleur Conkling Heyliger

Five years and two weeks ago Joel and I found out that our pregnancy had failed at 9 weeks along. We hadn't had much time to get used to the idea that we were pregnant again, but it was long enough to cause us great sorrow at the loss of our hopes and dreams for this little one. (Although I believe greatly, and found comfort, in the promise of modern revelation that our little ones who are lost will be ours again in the millennium, it's unclear if a little one lost so early in pregnancy had a spirit prepared for it. If there was, I believe that we will be reunited with that child again in our eternal family.)

Five years ago, today, Joel and I found out that we were going to be instant parents to a beautiful blond haired, blue eyed 5 pound 4 ounce bundle of pink joy. Jaeden. Jaeden came into our lives quite unexpectedly, and with the perfect timing of a miracle blessing.

Since the day she came home with us she has brought us nothing but joy. Her smile lights up the room. Her giggles play my heartstrings in sweet melody. Her snuggles warm even the deepest parts of my heart. She is cheerful, intelligent, has a great sense of humor, is caring, loving and sharing even to her siblings that are less than deserving of her sweet nature. She is pure joy to us. I feel so deeply blessed and honored that I get the privilege of being her mother. I never feel worthy of that blessing from any of my children and it touches me deeply that God has trusted these little souls to me, to us. I pray that I do a worthy job.

I also pray for all the unwanted babies in the world, that their lives will be spared and they will be given the blessing of being adopted into homes with parents who will love and cherish them.

Oh and Jaeden became a mommy today, on her very special birthday, to about a million of these...

Thanks Aunt Sarah and Uncle Gary.

Congratulations Jaeden! And Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Back on the horse

So, now that we've all been sick and I missed a bunch of days last week at the gym, I've been to the gym 3 times this week, and I'll be going tomorrow. I missed one day because that was the day I had a dentist appointment and too much else going on.
I know that I need to be drinking more water. I also need to curb my snacking at night.
I've also been going out and playing HORSE with Jake and all the neighborhood kids who come by and beg to join in. It's kind of funny. Tonight we had 8 of us playing one game at the same time. Kids come and go throughout the game so it's been hard to keep track of how many letters everyone has or what order we shoot in, but it's been a lot of laughs and fun.
I think everyone is done being sick now, it's made all it's rounds.

Tonight I took my 30D in for sensor cleaning. I am a little leery of doing it myself. Blowing it out didn't get it clean and after doing a dust test I saw a ton of yuck still on the sensor. I have a shoot on Saturday so it should be nice and clean for it. So I have them cleaning it, and when I pick it up the guy might show me how to do it myself next time if I buy their 60 dollar kit, lol. Then I can clean my XT for practice. I've had the XT for almost 2 years and have only had to blow it out and it still doesn't have much dust. I've had the 30D for almost one year and it's FILTHY! I think it might be due to the lens I have on it... maybe? Or maybe I use it more, or maybe I change lenses on it more? I dunno...
I'm rambling, so goodnight.

Happy Mother's Day!

I love you mom!

The first song playing here on my blog is dedicated to all of my beautiful children whom I am so very blessed to call my own. I'm the luckiest girl in all the world because of the 4 amazing and beautiful children I have. I love you guys, thank you for letting me be your mom!

Last night I got the rare opportunity to spend the evening and most of today with my best girlfriends...



and let me tell you it was the BEST time I've had in a long time!
We ate junk food...



We painted our nails with polish we'd picked up earlier in the day...



We had pizza for dinner and nachos, popcorn and candy for dessert. We also rented movies, which I will rate this Thursday in my Thursday's Thumbs segment. We were going to tent it in the family room but discovered that both tents were broken, so we group slept in my bed. Then this morning we went to Perkins for breakfast. Jaeden had chocolate chip pancakes, Joy had regular pancakes and I had steak, eggs and hashbrowns and pancakes... man was I full! Then we went to the YMCA for the girls classes and I did 40 minutes of cardio.

After that I took them to the local park where we played on a big grassy hill and I took some pictures of them...









I have to tell you I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with them, just chatting, one on one, rocking out in the car to the Chipmunks, making jokes, singing at the top of our lungs, cuddling on the couch and just connecting. I wouldn't have traded that night for the world. What a great way to start Mother's Day weekend! I hope I get more chances to have those kinds of evenings with all of my children.

Song and lyrics-

I'll Be There Too- Michelle Featherstone
I see myself in you
In everything you do
And when you’re all alone at night
You know I am by your side
Cuz I’m there too

I see me in your eyes
And I’m the tears you cry
And when you fall apart
And I’m dying from a broken heart
I’m there too
I see your footsteps in the sand
As you journey on across this land
But if you should fall on your way
Then I will carry you that day
Cuz I’m there
I’m there too

Yeah I’m there too
I see your face in mine
And I know there’ll come a time
When you will take my hand
And I will understand
That you’re there too
When you will take my hand
And I will understand
That you’re there
You’re there too

{Joshua, I love you}

Yep, that's what the note said. The note that was left in my Kindergartner's cubby. No signature, just a smiley face at the bottom. He told me two girls names he thought it could be. I thought it might be either of them too.

They start so young....

Or do they?

I remember having my first crush on a boy when I was in Kindergarten. He was in the First Grade. Todd Klein. His father owned some store that sold TVs or something. I still remember his birthday party. He got a bird. We went for pizza. His mom repeatedly kept asking me to stop swinging my legs and kicking her. I couldn't help myself. I was just so happy to be in love with the birthday boy. The love affair was short lasted, once I discovered Brett Hintze.

Today was my day to volunteer in Joshua's classroom. I watched the two girls, looking for clues. One of them asked me if Joshua drank milk in the morning... hmmm.... is that a signal that she's concerned for the bone density of my son and his prospects of being a long walking- non- hip-breaking partner?

The other girl just kept looking at me and smiling....hmmm.... trying to get on the Mom's good side?

Cut, cut

It took me long enough to get these uploaded, but finally I have. So last week as I was about to walk out the door to run some errands Jake discovered Joy cleaning up a mess and found that she had cut her hair. I was in a hurry, it was snowy and I had to get dinner going for Joel so he could go to work and get my shopping done. I sat on the kitchen floor and cried, which freaked her out and she kept crying saying, "I'm sorry Mommy, I'm so sorry!" But I kept crying for good measure.

So I got out to the van, and my wipers are falling off. It's snowing outside. So I had to get Joel's truck cleaned out enough to put her car seat in it and took her to the hairdresser. Luckily they were able to save most of the length. She worked in the second chop as layers.

I hope she never cuts her hair again. This is the second time she's done it... some people might remember the story of her cutting her bangs so horribly after I took pictures of the girls in their Easter dresses.

I'm gonna love it

I think, anyway.
This morning I got up at 6:15-ish to get ready for my orientation at the YMCA this morning. I didn't allow enough time for breakfast, so I had half of a granola bar on the way over, that I found in my van. Dang it, I forgot about the box of doughnuts I have stashed under my passenger chair!... Mmmmm..... doughnuts....... *drool*
Oh, yeah, I was getting healthy there, back to the healthy stuff. Today Will took me through all of the machines and showed me how to use them, set me up with a chart so I can keep track of my progress and also wrote on there my settings for each machine. So when I go in, I grab my chart, a pen, a clipboard and get to work. Very easy.
And with the child care on site, I am sure I'll be there most days of the week, it can't get any easier than that. My kids are what are holding me back the most from getting into a workout. If I work out at home they get in the way, climb on me or on my treadmill or my exercise ball. If I walk I have to push a double stroller and do it in the afternoon while Josh is at school so I don't have to have him trot along with me, that's just a pain pushing the stroller anyway. I used to walk 3 miles a day pushing a double stroller for a couple of years, and it is SUCH A PAIN!
The only thing I hated about the place was the mirrors on the wall. I hate looking at myself. I'm so round. I hate my round head. Just call me Charlie Brown. And I hate how I've let myself go. I don't want to look at that.
Anyway, all in all, I really like it and I know I'm going to use it a LOT.
I already have the kids enrolled in classes that started this week. Joy is in tumbling, Jaeden and Joshua are taking a sports sampler class. They are going to love it!
It IS fun to play at the YMCA!